Welcome To The Thinner Side

Hello my name is Shirley and I live in the Cheyenne Wyoming area.Cheyenne lies at the foot of the rockies.We are roughly an hour and a half north of denver. I have always had trouble with my wieght. Even as a child I was heavy.Sure I had my ups and downs my lowest wieght was 170 pounds and my highest was 325 right before my surgery.I am married I have 3 great kids and a newly adopted 19 year old son(my oldests beau). I cant say I would ever recommend having wieght loss surgery since mine was a nightmare.I do understand some people get lucky and have no problems but I was not so lucky.

Ok my surgery was December 14th 2005.I was at the hospital all signed in and being prepped for surgery.I was told the surgery would last about 2 hours I would have a brief 1 or 2 day stay in the hospital and then be discharged. My surgery was going well until the doctors ripped a hole 6 inches long in my esophagus.they had to remove a rib from my left side to use the muscle as a patch for the esophagus.they puctured a lung and had a feeding tube inserted into my stomach.in all the surgery took 10 hours(a far cry from the 2 they had said).Iwoke up in ICU a couple days later feeling like hell in a handbag.I was on a ventilator tubes everywhere and given a 50/50 percent chance of making it.

Well it has been 10 months and I have lost 150 pounds.I am feeling better if I dont eat but living makes it hard to go and not eat...LOL.

Ok I know all of you are wondering has it changed my sex life? Oh yes it has and trust me I forgot how great sex was.

I spent 2 and a half weeks in ICU.A nightmare to say the least.I could have nothing by mouth not even water to swish my mouth with.No shower just bed baths(which is not much).I was in so much pain I wanted to die.My children were terrified that they would lose mommy my husband was a rock he was so strong and supportive.I was sent to the main floor foe an additional week to continue healing and getting back on my feet.I got to come home after the first of the year(not a very enjoyable christmas and new years).I came home on oxygen and tube feeding which I continued for the first month.

It has been a tough road learning how to eat when to eat and what to eat.I live on cream of chicken soup and cheese and crackers.I have to eat very slow and baby bites.Learning what foods you can handle has been hard.I cant eat meat,pasta,eggs,untoasted bread or fatty foods. I think the biggest change has been my emotions.I feel worse about myself now then I did before the surgery.I have a foot and a half long scar on my back and 9 other scars across my stomach and sides.I feel like a freak show.I wanted this surgery to help me feel good about myself not worse.

I have lost 100 pounds in 4 months which is great but the price I have had to pay has been high.I know that many people would say I deserve to suffer since I was over wieght.People who say this have never battled with wieght every second of every day. I know that complications are normal for any surgery,but do yourself a favor and really think is this the right move for me.